Stopping the alternative behavior madness

20120517-095110.jpgSo then the Lord Jesus, after he had spoken unto them, was received up into heaven, and sat down at the right hand of God.

Mark 16:19
American Standard Version Bible

Today I want to talk about evil – an evil that we have tolerated for far too long in this society. I’m talking about a sickness that we permit to be paraded around us, and it’s a deviant behavior must be stopped.

You know what I’m talking about, but speaking out isn’t enough. It’s time for action – time to start enforcing, with wrath and vigor, the purity of body that the our most holy books mandate. We must rise up and take these willfully, woeful souls who choose to ignore historical tradition and spiritual truth and smite them.

Their argument that they cannot control their natural inclinations is absurd. The devil tests us all with desires and temptations that take us down the road to eternal torment. For us to let these freaks of nature walk among us is an abomination.

But there’s hope! We can rise out of this dark time and return to the world as it should be. We can have a world where those who choose to communicate, gesture and state their identity with this grotesque defect are dispatched from our very shores.

So let us raise our righteous hand. We will change the laws. We will take to the streets. We will pull these demons from their homes and show them that waving their natural inclinations in the face of our children will no longer go unpunished.

For these reasons, I encourage you join me, brother and sister. Salute your beliefs and take them to their logical conclusion. Let us all write to our legislators today and join our fight.

Together we can make sure that people who are left-handed will not be allowed to be married in America. Because, after all, Jesus sat at the right hand of God, not his left.

And lefties don’t deserve rights.

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About SWIRLosopher

The SWIRLosopher is Sean Trapani, a professor emeritus of advertising who - despite a degree in philosophy - has abandoned all reason and is trying to make a living in the wine business.

5 thoughts on “Stopping the alternative behavior madness

  1. It’s about time someone stood up for the truth. Please spare me this claptrap about how lefties are “born that way”. Non-sense. Left-handed people DO have a choice. All they have to do to fit in is use the proper hand. And all this talk about equal protection is drivel. Lefties will not be denied any right afforded any right-handed person. All they have to do is use the correct hand. Is that asking so much? Sheeeesh.

  2. Did you know that most US presidents have been left handed? You will have to get rid of a number of portraits, and edit the history books. What is the point of eradicating deviants now, if in History and art appreciation and Literature and Music classes children are exposed to their influence?

    • That’s what all the pro-lefties say. That’s just lefthand-wing propaganda. Heck, some say that the Greeks and Romans were lefties. Before you know it, they’ll have us believing that Liberace was a leftie, too. Lies I tell you!

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